Sunscreen

***

1. Raising a baby in space is not nearly as easy as he'd thought it'd be. Not that he thought it'd be easy co-parenting with his wife - or parenting at all considering that he'd been through at least one side of that equation - but when you don't have the option of booting the tyke out the door to eat some sand while mom and dad get some alone time. Well.

"AND DON'T COME BACK."

You tend to get yelled at a bit more than he remembered.

"Love you too, honey!" John called and skedaddled out the door with said child. Sighing and patting his two-year old son on the back John moved down Moya's main corridor and away from his quarters.

"Here's a piece of advice for you, Little D." He whispered this against his son's ear. The kid was so dead-to-the-world he'd managed to snore through the whole argument. Small mercies. "Don't ever cross your mother. She's vicious."

2. Little D learns not to cry loudly very early on. He only really notices it when, just after his younger sister is born, he catches his father holding his hand just over her mouth when she starts to yell.

It doesn't occur until much, much later in life - that is a fun resurfaced memory when he's 32 and facing fatherhood for the first time - that this is something weird or strange. He just tilts his head and blinks until his father notices him.

There's a stricken expression across his dad's face that he isn't old enough to understand, but he likes it when his dad scoops him up and cuddles him tight.

"Whatcha doin?" He asks, his head tilted on his father's shoulder.

Like always, his dad kisses him on the head and rocks him just a bit. "I have to teach your sister not to cry. Because there are times when we can't afford to be seen or heard."

Little D nods at this. "I don't cry. Well, I do, but not all noisy like she does."

His dad smiles down at him. "Crying isn't a bad thing, Little D. Sometimes you need to. But you don't always need to be heard."

Little D smiles then and cuddles close to his dad. "I know. You and Mommy know when I cry anyway, so I don't have to be loud."

His dad just held on.

3. It's not long after Aunt Chi leaves the first time (he remembers) that he wakes up crying. Normally his mother is always a little quick on the draw when he wakes up. It was almost spooky how well she did that. Still, this time when he'd woken up his dad had been sitting by his mattress.

He'd been young enough at the time that curling into his dad hadn't been weird or strange. He'd clung that night. Sniffled into his father's side and just clung.

Eventually his dad had started whispering reassurances and "I love you"'s. That's something else he can always say about his childhood. His parents had always been very upfront about verbally expressing their affection. His father more than his mother, but hardly a day went by where he and she didn't say it.

But that night he'd only been generally listening. Too lost in the misery of his missing family to really register anything besides his dad's presence.

But he does remember one thing his father told him. Just before he'd drifted off to sleep, face tight and hot with shed tears, his dad had hugged him a little closer and whispered, "Hold on to the ones you love while you have them, son. They're not always going to be there. But you can remember them. That's definitely okay."

Eventually, Little D fell asleep. But he remembered that.

4. After what had to be the fifty-thousandth fight of his parents marriage (Little D'd only be about seven at that point), John Crichton stomped crankily out of his and Aeryn's shared quarters and past his young son, who was attempting to take apart a dead DHD, muttering: "It's worth it. It's worth it."

Little D is pretty sure his father is trying to convince himself of that. Until he catches his parents later that day, hugging and kissing in Command. His father's fingers are running across the angles of his mother's face, and they're smiling softly at each other.

Little D knows then that it is.

5. D - because he's sixteen now and has two inches on his father, if not any bulk - doesn't really ask for this advice. He gets it anyway a few days after his father catches him with his hand down Priya's pants and his tongue down her throat. His mother had rolled her eyes and outlined (again) different birth control measures, but his father... his father had just gotten that distantly sad look that usually showed up whenever anyone mentioned something doing with Earth.

D'd been thigh-deep in mucking out the amnexous blockage on level seven, reaching over to find one of the spanners when he'd looked up, and suddenly his father had been there. His mother had once told him that his father was stealthy like a "trollomart with a busted kerflax." Maybe to her, sure, but with D, his dad had always managed to sneak up on him with no problems. In his less kind moods, D figured it was because his dad enjoyed making him jump.

"Dad? What's up?"

The olderman shrugged and continued to stare at him. Used to his father's occasional periods of internal distance, the boy went back to what he was doing. Or tried to anyway.

Five minutes later, frustrated at the amnexous conduit and his dad staring at the back of his head, he spun around and all but shouted "WHAT?"

His father shook his head and gave him a bemused little smirk. "You are still so painfully young, you know that?"

Cranky, D'd huffed at him. "I'm sixteen!"

"An infant."

"Just because you're ancient..."

His father had stopped then. Still smirking a little, and half-turned in the doorway. "D... I want you to remember something. I want you to remember that there are several people in this universe who would happily kill to make sure you are okay and that you know you're loved. Your mom and I... we love you a lot. And your Aunt Chi. We're also so, very proud of you. Just... remember that, okay?"

And then his father turned around and walked away. They never really mentioned it again.

-fin-

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