Notes: For Mitai, who is the only other person I know who likes Scott as much as I do. :)

Hello, Madelyne. It's been a long time.

I'm not really sure why I'm here. I guess it just seemed like it was the right thing to do.

Scratch that. I know why I came here and isn't altruistic. I came here because I'm tired, Maddie. I'm tired and sad and I want some of this sorted out. I can't do this anymore.

I came to apologize, Maddie. For a lot of things.

When I met you, I was grieving. You knew that. You also knew you looked a lot like her. Jean.

It was a bad situation, Maddie. Right from the beginning. I wasn't ready, emotionally, to make the decision I did. I shouldn't have asked you to marry me, Madelyne. I shouldn't have even gone near you in that condition. But I did. And we did. Marry, that is. And for awhile, we were happy.

Maybe.

I don't know.

I did love you. Not the way I should have, or even did, but I did love you. How could I not? You gave me a son. The problem is, he's the reason I hated you too.

I'm a man, Maddie. I'm not perfect. I never have been. I can't... be *sorry* for a feeling. I can regret it, and I do, but I can't be sorry for it. Nathan should have been Jean's. SHE should have been my wife. The mother of my children.

But you were first.

As much as I could, I HATED you for that. But I can't hate you completely. You gave me Nathan. He was a product of *us*. Jean may have been in that bed with us, sick as that sounds, but he was a part of you and me.

I... handled things... badly.

When Jean came back...

God, Maddie. Hindsight is twenty-twenty, huh? I should have, at least, told you all of it. Told you what was happening before that damn broadcast. I won't lie. I'd probably do the same idiotic thing today... But at least I'd know it was idiotic. Then- well, I can only say I was running on instict. Blind, panicked instinct. And joy. Undescribable total joy.

I need you to know something, Maddie. I didn't cheat on you. Ever. At least, not that I knew. Jean and I did nothing, and mean NOTHING, until after you died. I may have been behaving like an asshole, but I couldn't go against our vows. I'm many things, Maddie, but I don't do that. It would have been wrong.

Hmph. As if what I did later wasn't worse.

What I did is pretty unforgivable. I took you away from our son.

I was so *ANGRY* with you Maddie. You *DIED*. You ended your life, then came back and tried to kill Nathan. You... God, you wanted him *dead*. I know it wasn't you. Not the you that you were... it was the Goblin Queen. That didn't make me any less angry. Or vengeful.

But what happened after...

I should have told him more, Maddie. When he asked, I should have told him more. I should have been able to say your name without wincing. I should have told him about how you hated carrots and adored the color peach. I should have told him about the time we went fishing up at the bay, and you tripped and fell onto a bucket of fish guts. I should have told him that despite what happened, you loved him with everything in you. You were his mother. He deserved-- *deserves* that much.

I was just so... afraid. Afraid of losing him and Jean.

Jean. Everything comes back to her, doesn't it? How can it not?

You were her clone, Maddie. A genetic copy.

There. I finally said it. I've never done it before. Not out loud.

But Maddie... you *weren't* a copy of her. You were you. I forgot that, along the way. Maybe I was never really sure.

I am now.

I should have done this a long time ago. There's no excuse for waiting this long.

Something's coming, Maddie. Something bad. I need closure for this. I've needed it for a long time. I'm not asking you to forgive me. I'm just letting you know, if you can hear me, that I'm sorry. I was wrong.